No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
I went to the group infertility support meeting that featured a therapist, whose specialty was counseling folks going through infertility. She herself had gone through this struggle, 30 years ago, and she and her husband had made the decision to end treatments, forgo adoption, and live childless. Now she is writing her dissertation on the topic of stress, depression and infertility.
I'm sure that doesn't sound like a ball of fun, but the session was SO HELPFUL. I didn't know there were so many terms and concepts to describe what infertile couples go through. Like many of you who commented pointed out, going there had the effect of helping me realize what I'm experiencing emotionally through this experience is very common.
It reminds me of things my mom shares with me. She recently lost her husband (not my father, "step"), and has been reading about the grief experience. She has been learning that some of her reactions over the course of the months he's been gone, are actually quite common and that fact makes her feel better, and okay about how she's handling her grief. I didn't know there was something similar for understanding infertility grief. It has stages and everything, and I recognized them all. I just didn't know there was a name for it.
So, I am BEYOND GLAD I went, and I do think this new information is going to give me extra strength to keep plugging along. Managing infertility, especially while still in the phase of trying to get pregnant (versus deciding on an alternative) is a lot of work and a lot of stress, but being aware of these details can help decrease the stress. I kep the therapist's card in case I need a tune-up in the future! I'm sure I will.