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Weekend bust!
Oh ladies!!! {arms raised high and screaming to the sky}
It's getting to the ridiculous point of me asking myself 'Gosh, what did I used to do on the weekends when I was losing?!' AS IF I have no idea.........
My weekend started on Friday early evening when my husband and I went early to a charity fund raiser. We got there so early we were able to have a few drinks before the real thing began. Everything was free flowing - wonderful wine, cocktails and hor dourves (cannot even spell that work - lame) topped off with an incredible meal and a fun auction.
Saturday I laid all day on the terrace reading. I was gonna go to the gym. I was gonna go grocery shopping. I was gonna go for a bike ride. None of those 'gonnas' turned into reality. We ended up staying in Saturday night and most of Sunday I did the same thing. I didn't even feel like bike riding. Our best friend that we ride with got in a horrible wreck a few weeks ago and so I've been a little bike shy since then but I know that's a ridiculous excuse. Anyway, I boycotted work and just wanted to relax and I did (will totally pay for it this week!). Then 5:00pm hit and I had been in all weekend and wanted a 'nice dinner out' so we met some friends and had drinks and food. I ate a LOT. Like I ate so much I was too stuffed to sleep because we ordered dinner so late. You probably won't be surprised to know that I woke up a little on the depressed side.
Today was not good either. Obviously, with no food in the house (not even any yogurt which I ALWAYS have) I just flew by the seat of my pants with a protein shake and some molletes (basically bread with beans, cheese and tomatoes) and then I worked late and stopped in at Starbux because I was starving. A healthy, nutritious carrot cake did the trick. Rrrrriiiigggghhhhhhttttt. ha!
I want to wonder something. I want to ask something. I want to question myself. I want an explanation other than the usual bs for this. But I just don't have it. I got nothing - as some people might say.....Do I care? Yes! I still care. I still want this. I just don't know what the hell my problem is. I can only give myself credit for still blogging even if it's totally half ass. I can give myself credit for still sticking around and trying to do better. I feel like a freaking broken record with this 'tomorrow is a new day' shit. I don't want to face another 'new day'. I don't want to forgive myself one more time. I don't want to continue to wallow in this shit and wonder and ask with no questions. Sharon suggested a challenge. I am signed up for TWO challenges right now and am not holding to either of them at all. Major suckage!!
AND SO IT IS TIME!! It is time to get it together. It is time to get back to what I was doing. It is time to PRIORITIZE tracking and exercising. It is time to stop feeling like I deserve what I clearly don't deserve. It is time, my friends.
I know I can do it!
Happy Monday!!! haha rrrriiigggghhhttttt ;)
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Comment by Almost There on October 22, 2012 at 9:10pm -
Cindy! Ugh! I have so been there. It is like you've just lost your "I'm on top of this" mojo. Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think you need to shake things up. Remember--this is all just my opinion! Do something completely different. Forget about tracking for a bit. I'd still write everything down--but don't worry so much about assigning numbers or importance to it--more like journaling than tracking. Evidently shopping and planning and cooking are not going well for you. What are some alternatives? Can you buy a "meal plan"? I know they aren't cheap, but it seems that you should be able to order up some healthy pre-made foods. Can you make each of your classes do a short exercise break in the middle of class. Even if it is just 2 minutes of imaginary jump rope or pushups against the wall.
Think of the craziest thing--and go from there.
Good luck! We are all pulling for you!
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Comment by Jackie on October 22, 2012 at 9:46pm -
Even though it wasn't exactly an on target perfect day, your Saturday still sounds lovely! Well, except the overly full feeling. I HATE that! I have been there toooo many times. Perhaps you need some rejuvenation! Maybe a new workout top or something like a special new recipe to try? You're one of the strongest bloggers on here! You'll kick this feeling and get back to kicking ass!
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Comment by Small Town Mom on October 22, 2012 at 10:32pm -
I understand - I am there now. After trying on my fat pants and they were snug and finally stepped on the scale - the shock of both made me want to do better. I am picturing how I want to look for the holidays in my head and I have to tell you - tight pants is so not where I want to be! Maybe go buy a new outfit for the holidays and set it out as motivation? Good luck!
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Comment by Keem on October 23, 2012 at 8:21am -
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a funk. Sometimes what works best is to start fresh with baby steps instead of being frustrated with ourselves for not operating at the level we once were.
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Comment by Dee on October 23, 2012 at 8:39pm -
You absolutely can do it, and you will do it. It's definitely not easy. Maybe, for now, it will help to focus on just one area. It could be anything. Suggestions: instead of making sure you have ALL meals prepared and planned, pick one that you will make sure you ALWAYS nail. Start there. I've been reading your blog for a long time now and I know you've had periods where you really had breakfast down. I worry about skipped lunch though- you work too hard and too long to go without food, and that of course makes you vulnerable after work. Pick just one thing for now and apply a laser-focus on that one habit, and you will feel successful, and then encouraged to tackle another habit.
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