Urge to eat - so frustrating!

I've been frustrated by my urge to eat. Frustrated I am doing normal eating and not losing, frustrated because I still eat when I'm not hungry, frustrated because I have so much doubt in my ability to make progress.  Frustrated because I can't get to the bottom of my emotions and therefore can't reframe them and ease them.

As I was voicing my thoughts someone asked this question:

Why would anyone not want to pay exquisite attention to hunger, craving, enjoying food, fullness and satisfaction? What stands in your way? Why wouldn't you want to pay similar attention to self-care?

Well, I have lots of reasons!

• paying attention to hunger, fullness and satisfaction may mean that I can't just eat whenever I want.
• I can't eat to soothe feelings, only for sustenance.
• I can't eat as much as I want to eat.
• I wouldn't be able to eat as often as I want to eat.\
• It's hard work to choose not to eat but rather to tolerate feelings that are elusive to me.

I think the last one is the crux of it. It's EASIER for me to turn to food than to tolerate the confusion that is my feelings. I just want to scream because sometimes I just can't figure out what I am feeling and I get angry and give up. I give up quickly most of the time. It's like, if I don't have something to do to relieve the buildup of emotion then my default mode is EAT.

Okay, now I'm getting down to it. I need to give myself at least a smidge more time.  More time to let the feelings ease and the urge to eat go away.  Whether I am able to decipher the feelings or not, I need to let them wash over me.  Maybe I find clarity, maybe I eat, maybe the urge just goes away.  I'll find the answer in a smidge.  Over time I will  increase the size of the smidge and then maybe I will find some answers there.

If I am not at least a little bit uncomfortable, then I am not making progress.