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Ugh...

Ugh is how I feel right now... I honestly don't know what other wording fits...

Begin rant/vent...

I am frustrated with my weight.. And want to get rid of all the excess crap in my body.. I want to be healthy and skinny and confident in my skin... Don't get me wrong on the latter.. I am confident (usually), but not in my body.. Does that make sense?? I love who I am.. Just not the body I am in.. And I feel that makes things an issue in the dating scene... like I want to be out and date.. and preferably find someone to settle down with and start a family.. but I think that people see my weight and not me.. and that’s what makes me upset.. and turn to food or sulk at home... Lately (since I started Body By VI) the bored food eating has stopped, which I am totally grateful for.. Now it’s just the sulking I need to work on... That motivation button needs to be pushed.. and hard... I can't get it to work.. I do great for a few days and then.. nothing.. I don't want to say that I fall of the wagon, cuz I don't think that is the case.. I know there are a lot of reasons to get in shape.. I'm not saying there isn’t... I just can't put a finger on what my motivation really is..

Here’s some reasons why I want to lose:

Be high school weight - which in reality means losing the weight gained while (and during) the time I was with my ex..
Have a healthier life - learning to eat healthier and portion control
Be fit and look good for bikini season
this may sound kinda conceded.. but I want to be the one the guy is staring at.. and can’t take his eyes off me.. I mean I know there are men out there that like a women that is heavy and has curves..
I want to look into the mirror and think I look good.. not say to myself, what would you look like if this were gone, or this.. or whatever..

I know those are all really good reasons to be motivated to lose.. but something just makes me depressed when I think about it and I go sulk..

.... i'll figure it out.. i think..

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Comment by Jill Mace on October 7, 2012 at 5:31am: Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed with everything it is good to focus on just one thing. Choose one thing you are willing to commit to for this week. Make changes slowly over time. It took me 3 years to lose my weight. I think the fact that I did it so slowly really helped me to change my habits so that I could stick with being healthy for the long haul. I know that I have gained some weight recently due to being overwhelmed with my circumstances. I had a really hard time getting back on the wagon. I did hire a life coach to help, but one of the things I realized was that I was overwhelmed and I was trying to fix everything all at once. It was too much for me to handle. I am just focusing on journaling what I eat and staying within my Weight Watchers points. I know I have other things to address- but right now, I am journaling. I have had 4 successful days and I feel so great about it. That feeling is motivating me each day to keep at it. One day at a time. One goal at a time. It adds up to big success! You can do this!

Comment by Keem on October 7, 2012 at 8:47am: Those sound like good reasons, but, sometimes I think that we truly get started on our journey when we're ready. Something's holding you back and you're not ready yet.

Is it because you don't love yourself? (meaning love yourself in spite of how you look at any weight)

Is it because society makes you think you should be a certain weight, but, in reality, you're happy how you are?

Is it because the upcoming holidays are too much to think about weight loss with?

I guess there needs to be a lot of introspection. I truly believe that when you're ready, it will happen. :)

Comment by Kristine on October 7, 2012 at 1:35pm: Thanks ladies... I see points in each...

Ugh...

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