Thoughts of a fatty

My whole life has been about being the 'big boned' girl - for as long as I can remember I was always bigger than the little dainty girls around me. Having a huge amount of self confidence, thanks to my parents, this didn't bother me much as a kid. As I got older I would learn how nasty kids could be - it amazed me how they would make comments as if I had no feelings - and I wasn't obese, I was just a bit bigger than average. At the start of high school I dropped a lot of weight due to be very active and eating healthy - all of sudden I was 17kgs lighter and people were noticing. All of a sudden I had the body to match the face, I didn't have to hear people say 'she is so lovely, if only she could lose some weight...." It was like a dream come true and lasted all of 3 years. Along come birth control pills and the weight arrived with it. Slowly but surely the weight piled on again, however it wasn't untilI had my 2 kids that I would face my worst problem ever! Now my self esteem is at an all time low and I just don't know how to stay on any eating plan anymore. I love socialising with cooking meals and share my home with 2 sons and a hubby who love their bakes and sweets it really is hard! Eating my salad while they munch on a fresh white bread, peanut butter and jam sarmie is like punishment to me! I know that I will reap the rewards of the healthy eating plan, I just wish my weight would go down as quick as it goes up!