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Sunday cleanse
This is both a day for clean eating (and getting the wine out from last night) and a feelings dump.
So on the eating side I am just SITTING at 240. seriously, i need to see the 3. I will be diligent to see the 3!
In other news, the feelings side, the ex listed our old condo for rent which means he is moving in with the new love of his life. It gets worse. So he and I were together almost five years, and all I wanted was marriage. He refused. I was always "why can't you be happy with what we have? i don't want to get married again ever." He had a crazy crazy ex, and two kids. I as a super step mom, lets leave it at that. It is his condo, so basically it was me accept that or move out. In the end, I moved out. We attempted reconciling until last March. Apparently his six month anniversary was yesterday, which means their first date was 24 hrs after the last time we hooked up.
I think we can clearly say he is an asshole. His daughter barely knows this woman, and he has apparently cancelled a lot of time with his daughter (no summer vaca with her) for this woman. SO they are moving into this woman's house. Which I can appreciate the irony of the fact he will now be at her mercy like I was at his.
And the mutual friends are expecting a ring soon because they all know this woman and she is demanding and uber catholic and so on.
So I had my little irrational pity party with wine last night...the "why the hell was I not good enough to marry?" party...despite knowing i escaped and am lucky.
feel a lot better this morning, although a bit hungover. LOL.
so onwards. I have job prospects in two states and might have to move. cross fingers one comes thru, as i would like to get out of this life stall and move forward.
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Comment by Jessica on September 23, 2012 at 9:16am -
{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}
You escaped! And yes, I know you are feeling that feeling, but the snark in me says it't time to pop some popcorn and watch this train-wreck unfold! LOL
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Comment by Meg H on September 23, 2012 at 9:22am -
yeah i get the info, too many mutual friends not to. usually comes in waves. i know what will happen. hell i predicted to his face that he would move in at 6 months. no, he will get a bonus in feb, he will buy a ring with that. both of them is a second wedding, she is almost 38 and wants kids. quiet ceremony in the spring and start to try for a baby. in the meantime, his second child will see him less and less (the oldest already won't deal with him at all).
part of the problem is after i moved out you know he was supposed to have that "omg you cannot leave" moment. which he never had. makes you feel dumbass. though i can see now a life with him would be awful. he in 2011 i lost the 35 lbs in 8 months and gained it back all thru the breakup. you think he encouraged me? in the beginning yes, but once i hit like 25 lbs and it started to show? he would bring home wine, make fattening meals... it has been 6 months now since i last saw him and i am down 42. um. little different.
also after i left him, i lost my job. so that sucks. so there is the part where my life has been in freefall suckage while his is on the surface looking good and all happy. all while i trudge along waiting for my life to get out of stall (not waiting, i have all these interviews done or lined up, but in my industry they take forever to decide!). and i am just READY to be able to start a new job, even move to a new state and just get a do over.
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Comment by Jessica on September 23, 2012 at 7:51pm
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*snorts* Sounds like you dropped a LOT of weight! 175-200 sound about right? ;)
Seriously, I get the feeling you are better off without him. :)
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Comment by Keem on September 24, 2012 at 9:55am -
I don't think it was a matter of you not being good enough.
Ever hear the expression, "We teach people how to treat us"?
Perhaps he knew that he could jerk you around (why buy the cow when the milk is free) for 5 years until you had enough....because you taught him that he could--kwim? That he could do whatever and you'd take it.
Where this new bimbo (ha ha ha) has taught him that if HE wants to stick around, he has to play by HER rules and he's lapping it up and conforming. I hope it doesn't work out with them so karma bites him in the rear-end. :P
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