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Scared
That's the only reason I can think of for why I grabbed some ice cream out of the fridge after dinner. I wasn't really hungry. But I convinced myself that I was. Really, I was frightened. So scared that I was giving myself panic attacks and crying uncontrollably. Why?
I'm scared of going to the dr. today. Not because I have problems with confined spaces--the MRI part will be fine. Not even because I'm scared of needles--I'm one of those people who will go and get a flu shot when the season comes. No, I'm afraid of pain. And sticking a giant needle of dye into my shoulder seems like it will be pretty painful. And no one will be there with me. And I think that scares me too.
But deep breaths and prayer will hopefully help me through today. I will write an update once I get home. :)
Here's the meal plan:
B: Fiber one shredded wheat and skim milk
Snack: Emerald Fruit and Nut Breakfast to Go (because I won't really eat lunch today) and maybe a peach
L/D: chinese takeout with a friend :) It's always nice after a scary dr. visit to get into pjs and go to a friend's house to enjoy takeout and a movie!
I was up .2 today, probably due to the unnecessary ice cream: 188.8.
Have a good day today!
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Comment by Keem on July 13, 2012 at 11:01am -
I've been afraid, too. I've done the most silly things like hyperventilating when a dr was going to remove a mole on my neck. I full expected to be numbed up and them to cut it off. What does he do? Something prehistoric--he was going to tie a string around it. I was horrified. I started to hyperventilate when he came toward me with the string and he couldn't comprehend why I was acting like that. He had to get a nurse to assist.
Then there was the time I went for my first root canal-after hearing tons of horror stories. Even after taking their antianxiety pills before, when they told me to open up, I said no way. I refused and then started to hyperventilate telling them that I worked at a drs office in the past and I always told them the shots etc wouldn't hurt, but, I was lying. And it turned out that it wasn't a big deal and I felt stupid when it was done.
Then there was the time about a year and a half ago when I had to have an in-office surgery done to remove a growth from my eye and I freaked out once they started the procedure. (I felt like such a dork after--don't get me wrong--it was a horrible experience, but the way I acted certainly didn't help matters)
I am no stranger to blubbering and making a fool of myself. I can totally relate.
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Comment by Almost There on July 13, 2012 at 12:08pm -
We are with you Brandy! Just think about how you will tell us all about your appt!
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