No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
I have talked about my mom a couple of times here and I was starting to really worry about her. She is not in a good financial situation and broke up with my dad this year (after being divorced from him for 30 years they decided to give it another try after he divorced his second wife and he broke up with her AGAIN after about a year) which really threw her for a loop. Per our dynamic, I started feeling like I had to fix this for her somehow. I woke up worrying about her last week. I resisted the urge to call her several times and almost sent her jobs on the internet. Finally Saturday I decided it would be okay to Skype her and say hello.
Well am I glad I did. She is doing well, taking care of herself with no prompting from anyone, and sounded really positive. She went to an al-anon meeting on Friday night after dinner with her friends. She went late even though she hates to do that because she knew she needed to go. She asked someone to be her sponsor (YAYAYAYAYA!) and is planning to go to a temp agency on Monday and had actually already applied for one job.
These are MAJOR achievements for her and I was so happy to hear. And this was a great reminder to me that everyone needs to take care of themselves. And they will. And the only thing my help communicates with them is that I don't think they can do it for themselves. So I was very proud of myself for resisting the co-dependency trap and very proud of her for taking care of herself. And I was thankful for the reminder that this is the healthy order of life.
And also relieved. I don't want to be responsible for my mom's well-being. I have enough to deal with taking care of myself and my own family.
Can anyone relate? Ahh parents, wouldn't be here without them, and wouldn't be crazy without them!
Yes-I can relate. Sometimes I try to take on too much--I don't know if I like that feeling of being the "hero" or if I'm just a helper type person. I had to make myself stop, too.
Comment by RollerCoaster on October 9, 2012 at 10:31am Oh, so difficult but so freeing to let go, isn't it? Once I tried it I became and addict but sometimes the behavior creeps back in, especially with my mom.
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