No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
I quit Weight Watchers a little over a month ago. Even though I bought the 20 week pass that's good until the end of May, I quit. My husband doesn't ask me anymore if I'm going because I cried the last time he asked. You see, the last time I went my leader was gone and there was another woman who was weighing people in. It has been two weeks since I had been to weight watchers and I had been really struggling....had bronchitis, couldn't work out, couldn't go to work, basically I sat around eating my way into feeling better. So, in two weeks time, I gained 5 pounds. Before even stepping on the scale, I told her it would be bad...I told her that I had been sick and wasn't able to exercise and wasn't sick enough to not try to comfort myself with food... sometimes I feel like if I just put it out there, they'll be more understanding, and usually it works. However, my leader had been replaced wtih a firm believer in "tough love." Sometimes, I'll admit, a good swift kick in the butt is exactly what I need....but not that week...it honestly was a miracle I had gone in the first place and I was trying to encourage myself with that little bit of truth... So, when I stood on the scale, after giving all of my excuses, she looked at the scale and showed visible shock...she looked at my card....looked at me....and looked back at the scale... she then started shaking her head as she wrote my new weight on the card. All the while, even though she hadn't said anything yet, her nonverbal behavior was causing me to shrink inside myself with shame. She then looked at me and said, "you know, whatever you're doing, isn't working." She said this in a voice of pure disdain. I looked at her, with my head hanging, and thought, "really? That's all you've got for me?" I mean, don't you think I know that already? Don't you think that's why I'm here? I mumbled something about being sick again and how I'm just trying to get back on track and she said, "usually when people are sick they lose, because they are too sick to eat." Once again, this was said in a condemning voice. I hurriedly grabbed my shoes, put them on, put on my coat and fled the scene. She called after me asking if I was staying for the meeting. I thought to myself, why would I ever stay for this kind of encouragement and I thought my behavior of putting my coat on and walking toward the door was answer enough. I got home and tried to pull myself out of the abyss of shame..giving myself the pep talk that I needed to hear from her and felt better until two days later when I received a card from the same Weight Watchers person. She basically repeated the crap she gave me while I stood on the scale (which I will say, in the right tone of voice, without the stares, the shocked looks, the shaking head, probably would have been received better). I started crying and told my husband "no more." I know this means that there's no way on earth he'll ever agree to me going back after I wasted the money this time.
So, now I'm doing this on my own. I am following the Weight Watchers plan, eating the points allowed, tracking what I eat, etc.... but I'm NOT attending the meetings. Just can't go back to that!