One day in the life of ....

I just want to update this blog so I can look back someday and see what I did to get to wherever I wind up.

It has been a solid 2 weeks and maybe a little more since I decided to give up sugar.  There have not been any real slips but I am learning my limitations.  As a slight preamble to this let me say that I am a Groupon Junkie! I love checking it every day and feeling like I am getting a super great deal on something without having to hunt for it.  That being said they occasionally have deals for South Beach Diet Brand food.  I know they are low carb and low sugar so they usually fit well with my food plan.  Knowing that I ordered 2 cases of fiber bars.  Well they just arrived last week and they were on 6g of sugar per serving.  I thought that would be doable since other things I have eaten were similar in their sugar counts and I did not feel like I had eaten sugar afterwards.  But I ran into a problem with these bars.  They have a chocolate coating on their base and I really like that, a little too much.  I started out eating one, then two a day.  Then I came home from work on Wednesday night and was in the mood for a binge.  I ate a cup full of peanuts and then 6 fiber bars!  Really, really, really bad idea.  That was 54 g of fiber from the bars alone!  I eat high fiber food usually because they fit well with weight watchers so add that all up.  You guessed it!  Colon Flush! I woke up and emptied out! That was okay, but by the time I got to work the stomach cramping and gas kicked up to a whole new level of pain.   I had to run to the drug store and get medications I was in so much pain.  4 gas-x and one prescription anti-nausea pill later I was finally able to stand up straight again.   That morning I had brought all the remaining fiber bars with me to work and gave them all away!  They are no longer allowed in this house!  

That was my first binge since going off sugar and I still consider myself sugar free, but I need to learn my limits.  Something that looks and tastes like chocolate, even if low in sugar, will react in my mind like chocolate.  Lesson well learned, for now.

Otherwise in my life the counseling is going well but I am finding myself not really liking my husband at all right now.  I do love him greatly but he is so annoying to me.  I have dealt with his severe depression for 6 months and I guess I met my limit.  Part of the reason I felt the need to binge Wednesday night is I was finally able to talk to him about how I was feeling (not in hurtful way) and he agreed to go to marriage counseling with me.  That is all a great thing but very emotionally exhausting.  Also, physically that morning I saw a floater in my right eye.  This appeared to me to be a burned out area of vision in the center of my eye, like after a flash photograph, but still bright for a long time.  By noon it was like the after effect of that flash, and now I can still see it if I look for it.  I have an appointment with my eye doctor today so hopefully we will be able to find out what the cause is and it will be easily fixed.   I hope this will wind up being nothing and will not cause me too many problems in the future.

Exercise-wise I had the week off from work last week because it was my due date from my miscarriage in late July and I wanted to treat myself kindly that week and deal with the feelings of loss that are still very much with me.  I did not work out at all that week, and I had a 5k that Saturday.  I almost didn't do it but I am glad I did.  I got the worst time I ever have gotten, and nearly puked at the end because I pushed myself to hard, but I learned a valuable lesson.  In order to avoid losing ground physically I have to keep training.  Now when I feel like skipping my scheduled runs I remember that wasted 5k and it keeps me going.  

Now that I see it in writing it helps me realize there is a lot more right in my life than there is wrong.  That, to me, is the value of this blog.  Thank you