On loss and gain. And starting again.

There's always a balance, it's just that sometimes, we put the wrong things on the scales. And on top of that, we can also make the mistake of putting the wrong amounts on either side and as a consequence, the balance is lost.

This was the case for me, as for probably many others. One of my scales said weight, the other self-esteem. So, the higher the weight on one side of the scales, the lower the self-esteem would get. 

And then it happens. One day (it could be anytime, but let's just say Aug/08), you start losing weight and suddenly realize that, with every pound that goes, your self-esteem gets higher. An amazing feeling, indeed.

But life, or karma, or whatever, does have other plans for you. One day you find yourself going through a low (we all do), and your self-esteem starts to come down again. Maybe all of a sudden, or maybe slowly but surely, and your "forever gone" weight (or so you thought, we all did that, too) starts coming back. In that moment - again, let's just take Sept/09 as an example here- the balance is lost.

Then, you need some time to tend to your other stuff before you can pay attention to the weight vs. self-esteem scales. But that "some" time turns into a "long" time (I consider 2 1/2 years to be a long time, please bear with me) until another day -maybe in Spring 2012- you finally stop waiting for things to change, and feel ready to make that change yourself.

I can't really say what it was. But something just felt different, and I KNEW I was ready. Between May and July I ditched some 13ish pounds, after which I got "stucked" at 136 lbs, which is where I am today. Now, I'm really short (5"0) so that means my normal weight (acording to the BMI index) is 129 lbs or below, and I'm still not quite there...

I have been following BTL for a few weeks now and you truly have been an inspiration, but I feel I still need some extra motivation to get rid of my "overweight", so I hope blogging about it helps me get there where I know I can be.

And for your reading, your words of encouragement, and most importantly, the example you are setting, I thank you :)

TinaInMunich