Introduction: Past, Present, Future

I grew up skinny. My mom has been overweight since she was an adult, and she was always on some diet that never seemed to work out. Sometime when I was in late elementary school or early junior high, my mom found the "Sugarbusters" diet. She eliminated any sugared food from the house. No processed foods were allowed.

This is not how the real world works. There is sugar. There is junk food. There is food that is ready to eat and terrible for you. I didn't grow up used to moderating my intake of the bad food. My diet at home pretty much consisted of eggs, meat, vegetables, unsugared cereal, milk, and bread.

Then there was high school, when I started spending the majority of my time away from home, out with friends and a boyfriend. There was so much delicious food, and there were no limitations. It became a habit to go to fast food restaurants. By my junior year of high school, I had gained 20 pounds, a slow gain over two years.

Then came a new boyfriend, who had his own body image issues. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, he was anorexic. Not extremely, but enough for me to see it now. I followed his lead at meals so I didn't embarrass myself by eating more than he did. I lost the 20 pounds in about 3 months.

I went off to college and lived in the dorms. The cafeteria was a trap for someone like me, who hadn't learned to be responsible with food. It was a buffet style meal plan. I gained 20 pounds in one year.

Sophomore year of college, I gained about 10 pounds. I was away from the cafeteria with the buffet, and I had limited funds. I was also walking further to classes and riding my bike more. But the food choices I was making still weren't the best.

The summer following my sophomore year, my mom had cancer. I went home to help care for her. I was again in the house of no sugar. I didn't like any of the food at home anymore, now that I had discovered the world of delicious food, so I didn't really eat as much as I should have. I lost 10 pounds that summer and was back to 140lbs. I also started dating a new guy, a long-distance relationship.

I didn't gain weight again until after Christmas this year. I was dating yet another different guy, but I had made an unfortunate choice the year before and had signed a lease with someone who was now my ex. So we were avoiding being at my apartment as much as possible, and his place was too small to make it practical to make food there often. So we ate out a lot.

I stopped measuring my weight.

I finished college and got a job. I bought a scale. In two years, I had gained over 50 pounds. I was now at 192.

I was living alone. My boyfriend was still in college. I started on a weight-loss adventure. It was hard. I stopped eating as much junk food. I limited my portions. Made my food from scratch.

I got married. By then, it had been 6 months since I started my weight loss mission. I was at 185. Not as far as I had wanted, but it was still progress.

We started trying to get pregnant. I went off birth control, and my menstrual cycle stopped. I wasn't pregnant, though. I went to my gynecologist and told him what was happening. He ran some tests and told me I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

This diagnosis explained so much for me. It explained my continuing terrible acne, my menstrual cycle stopping, my hard time losing weight. I was unknowingly treating it by being on hormonal birth control before trying to get pregnant.

This is when a real battle began. PCOS makes it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it. I was not going to get pregnant until I lost weight. The doctor gave me Metformin (usually a diabetes prescription, but also used for PCOS) and told me to lay off the carbs, since the drug causes carbs to be treated like sugar in my body.

I went from 185 to 172 in three months. It melted off with barely any adjustments to my diet (I had already been limiting carbs). Then I became pregnant.

When I gave birth, I weighed 234lbs. A month afterward, after losing the initial water weight and baby weight, I was at 210lbs. I have been steadily losing with some times of stagnation since. I am now at 187, with my baby almost 7 months old.

Now that I know I have PCOS, it will help me regulate and lose weight better. My husband and I make most of our meals from scratch, usually a meat and a vegetable. When we make pasta, it's whole wheat. When I bake, I use Splenda. For breakfast, I have Shredded Wheat (Wheat 'n' Bran variety) with whole raw almonds and raisins. It's delicious! At work, I climbs lots of stairs, walk a lot, and do a decent amount of other physical activities.

After I finish breastfeeding, I can go back on hormonal birth control and continue to control my PCOS. Someday, I want to have more children, so I've got good motivation to lose the weight again. My final goal is 135lbs.

My mini goal now is 180 by Thanksgiving.

I do not know how often I will update this blog. I will try not to make it too rare.

Thank you for your support.