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Intensely disappointed in myself....

OK, here it is - long, boring and un-analytical. There is no need for that. So, basicallly.....

I got back from the US knowing I had gained weight but I didn't step on the scale. Why confirm what I knew?

I got right back on track with food and exercise and did great for the first 28 days of the month.

On the 29th day of this month, I skipped the gym and went and had wine and chinese food.

On the 30th day of this month I went to the gym but then had 5 drinks and dinner out.

On the 31st day of this month I forced myself to the gym and then went out to a party and drank a lot of wine. At 2:30am this morning we had to stop at the taco stand and have a few since we hadn't really eaten mcub. I had 3 tacos.

On the FIRST day of a new month I woke up and made myself a quesadilla and then scrambled eggs, tofu sausage with some LC and another 1.5 tortillas. I pretty much ate more than half of my calorie count for the day.

Now I am going to work all day and try to get caught up.

I usually don't get this disappointed in myself. Usually I just move on and get back on track (which I will certainly do).

But this time I was FINALLY starting to notice a difference in my size 16s. They were feeling loose and I know I'm only about 5 lbs away from the 14s.

I know I haven't undone all the hard work but right now it sure f**king feels like I have. I stepped on the scale a few weeks ago and it said 181 - the lowest I've been in blahblahblah years. So, there was even a part of me that was happy to finally have lost some more weight in addition to the summer weight.

New month. New September.

I fought with myself last night after the gym. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't go because I don't like to go to parties and not drink. I don't like to stand there with a glass of sparkling water in my hand. I do not want to bring my own (insert calorie-free beverage here). So, I should not have gone. Even though I went to the gym I probably drank and ate a million calories overall.

So, here it is. BIG DEEP BREATH. Two 'goals'.

1.September will be absolutely 100% alcohol-free. There will be no 'I had 2 tequila shots and I'm OK with it'. Not one. Not even one. Please join me in this commitment/challenge if you are interested.

2. I will do my best to find some new foods to eat and cook.

3. I will exercsie 5 times a week without fail.

Happy long weekend everyone!

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Comment by Keem on September 1, 2012 at 11:48am: It's ok to be disappointed in ourselves because it's our innertalking going on letting you know that you shouldn't be doing what you're doing--sort of your "diet conscience" or "fitnessJiminycricket".

You can't go back in time and undo it so just start fresh and do well.

What would motivate you?

Comment by Meg H on September 1, 2012 at 2:44pm: I will join you until Sept 28th (my mom's first retirement party). I have barely been drinking, but we did the other night and suddenly the momentum I had going...BAM! it was gone and i am on the third day of trying to regain it. SO I am IN.

Comment by bab on September 1, 2012 at 3:37pm: well i never drank, so i cant b in that challenge, lol,but i drink pop a lot, with most of the fast foods nd when we go out to eat, nd jst like u, i need to get bck on track too, nd with today being the first of the month, ill try to stay away from pop whole month and will only eat out once a week.so let the challenge begin, gud luck to all.

Comment by Erica on September 2, 2012 at 8:00am: I'll commit to your challenge! I have not had more than a couple sips of DH's wine in the last 8 weeks! I do enjoy wine with my food at dinner and in the summer I make homemade sweet tea vodka and was drinking it often or Mike's Hard lemonade...until I re-committed to losing weight and making my health my priority. My husband and I have been making beer and wine for years and were talking about getting a batch of each going before I started tracking again. I still think that we should because my husband loves to drink red wine with dinner and it would save us $! Cindy have you ever tried Kombucha? It is a fermented tea beverage that you can buy or make and I find it is a great substitute for a frosty alcohol beverage when the desire strikes. If this is something that you would be interested in brewing at home I would be happy to send you a "mother" culture. You can read more about it here http://www.kombuchakamp.com/kombucha-recipe I flavor mine with frozen berries pineapple or ginger. It becomes a naturally carbonated delicious drink!

Comment by Brandy on September 2, 2012 at 4:15pm: I am committing to running 3 or more times per week. It's all about sticking to it! I'm here for you.

Comment by Jill Mace on September 3, 2012 at 10:34am: I'm in! I am commit to going back to WW meetings. I found one on Fridays. I will start this Friday. I also commit to counting points. I am tired of feeling disappointed in myself too! We can do this.

Comment by Dee on September 3, 2012 at 6:32pm: All excellent goals!

Comment by Lynette S on September 5, 2012 at 11:23am: :( I totally know what you mean about disappointment, we are hardest on ourselves aren't we? I know you can take this month and turn it around, you know you can do it to!
Oh, and is it lame that I looked at my plans on the calendar and realized I had too much stuff to commit to alcohol free Sept, I suck, I know! But we have some social plans, and I am adverse to failure ;-)

Intensely disappointed in myself....

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