No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
Off-topic, but this is on my mind today.
I studied to be a therapist, and worked in the field for a brief time. I've always wanted to return to it, but the state I live in now (CA) has the strictest educational requirements, so in order to get back to it I have to go back to school. I hesitate to do that for a number of reasons. One of these days I will work it out.
Anyway, one of the things you learn in counseling programs, is that many people have an aversion to seeing a therapist. We outline the reasons why, and how to overcome these aversions. We do exercises that involve going inward, and exploring one's own resistance to seeking assistance, as a way of further understanding what your client might be going through when they make that first call, or come for that first visit.
At the time I had conversations with my classmates, acknowledging that it could be hard but I just knew if I ever felt a need to go to therapy I would have no problem doing so. I truly believe in the healing power of therapy.
And now I have a need to go to therapy, and I so don't waaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
There is a group meeting with a therapist on the topic of managing the stress and depression of infertility, and I know I need to go, but I have so much resistance. I don't want to go, I don't want to make this problem real, I don't want to end up crying in a room full of strangers. But I am having a tougher and tougher time staying optimistic enough, to do the actions I need to do to make successful pregnancy a possibility. I'm close to giving up, simply by being frozen and unable to act. So that's how I know I need therapy. Frozen= need assistance thawing. So I can be proactive again.
I don't wanna go, but I am gonna go, and I think I am writing about this for the same reason I always blog here- for accountability. Now, I'll be embarrassed to blog again and I didn't go, after just making it clear I really need this!