No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
I have not made this blog a priority. I feel like I'm always too busy, which I know is an excuse. Right now I'm typing this from my phone upstairs in Landon's room because his nap got cut short and that's when I was planning on blogging. I'm having a hard time getting back into it. I'm afraid of getting judged, I'm ashamed of my weight and my food addictions. And I refuse to be anything but open and honest on my blog, and so... I just end up not blogging. Which only hurts me. A lot of my shame about being overweight has to do with my family. No one else in my immediate family is overweight. In fact they are all thin and all of them exercise. And come to think of it, none of my aunts, uncles, or cousins are overweight either. So I'm just the fat one. And I wonder what people must think of me, if they wonder why I just can't get the food thing under control. It's embarrassing. Obviously none of them say anything, but they don't have to. The shame is already there for me. I know it's been said that its hard when food is your struggle because there's no hiding it. You can hide almost any other addiction, but not that one. But I don't know if hiding is the best solution here... Which is why I'm blogging again. I haven't really made any changes since I last posted. I didn't do the 30 day challenge (I think I caved on day 2). I wake up every day and try I think of a way to make it ok to eat healthy that day. But usually I can't even get myself to eat a healthy breakfast, and its usually downhill from there. I'm so used to having that sugar and caffeine rush first thing. So, I decided to make some weekly goals this week:
1. Eat a healthy breakfast at home every day this week. This is HUGE for me. It seems to set the tone for the whole day. A good breakfast seems to lead to better choices throughout the day, and vise versa. This will also probably be the hardest goal for me. But I believe it is worth doing.
2. Drink a green smoothie or vegetable juice (from the juicer) every day. I'd rather focus on what I want to add in rather than what I'm taking out. This will give me tons of much needed nutrients (my poor body... After 2 close-together pregnancies and bad nutrition for the past couple years I'm sure it is in rough shape)
3. Only eat out once this week. We are going out to Chinese for Camryn's 6th birthday at her request!
4. Run 3x this week. I'm doing couch to 5k and so far have completed week 1 and day 1 of week 2. I'm hoping this will provide some stress relief as I am just now realizing I have a very stressful day to day life. Between trying to homeschool Camryn and having 2 babies 14 months apart and it just a lot. And it's getting to me and I'm sure a lot of my eating is stress eating!
5. Have my time with God each morning before the kids wake up. Again, super hard for me but super important.
I plan to update next week with how my goals went... Even if I fail at every single one! And lastly, thank you to those of you who reached out to me. It's nice to see some familiar faces here again and I absolutely love the idea of supporting each other!