No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
Hi, guys. Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, I was busy packing and traveling and being pampered by my family :)
I'm also sorry I missed our chat, and I probably won't be able to post all that often either, at least this week. I really hope you all had a nice time, I'll try to make it to the next one!
I'm going to take it easy while being here (as if I hadn't been taking it easy before that, ha!) and I am conscious that by the time I'm back in Germany I'll really have to take this much more seriously, otherwise I can say goodbye to reaching my goal before January... But for now, I'm just gonna try and not screw up, maintaining my current weight will be a win in my book... It's not gonna be easy, of that I'm sure. I'm usually a weigh in freak, but my parents don't even own a scale, and I'm not that confident I can do this :(
But being home, I've also had the chance to try on some of my old, "normal weight" clothes. The ones I was comfortably wearing 3 years ago, before I moved to Germany and put on over 28 lbs within a few months. Of course, this has become sort of a ritual, every time I come visit I have to try them all again, as if they would fit. Now, for the first time since 2009, some of them actually do :D Probably much tighter than they should, but I was at my lowest weight back then, so yeah, this feels good!
I'm also starting to feel ok-ish about photos, since my progress is starting to show. I still have a long way before I can accept my body the way it is - there are other issues beyond my weight I have to learn to accept, weight loss is just where I've chosen to start - but this is something. I don't automatically think "Oh, I look so fat on this one, I hate it" it's more of "Hmmm, is it because of the angle, or does it really look like I have a waistline?"
Being on this journey, I sometimes wonder if I am setting a reachable goal, or if I am just pushing my body to a weight it doesn't like being in. And then I look at my normal weight photos, and I like them not because I looked skinny but because I'm glowing. They show a confident, funny, and crazy Tina that isn't here any more. I miss her. I don't need to be skinny, but I want that Tina back. I want to glow again.