First things first and OUCH this hurts!

Yowsers!  Last time I tried to give up caffeine I found myself mauling the chocolate chips in my daughter's baking draw! Not making the connection, one day my daughters say "hey mom, you know your fiending for the caffeine in the cocoa right?"  lol Eurkeeka! No I did not realize!

This time I've decided to do the 1/2 and 1/2 split.  I'm doing half my normal scoop of reg cawfee and then compensating with 1/2 of scoop of my yummy Moose Munch decaf.  Well today my body is definitely detoxing cause I'm with a blazing noggin-ache!!  Ouch! don't even touch me or look at me please!

So where does this leave me? Welp, the diet has been not so good.  However, I insist on keeping to a very healthy, high fiber breakfast.  The chips fall later in the day when I start to wanting nuggets and pizza bites here at work instead of the healthy salad and tuna I should be having.  But no matter what my mood or cravings (I turned down an absolute favorite: sausage, egg and cheese bagel yesterday a.m.!) I am sticking to a healthy breakfast.

The other thing I am sticking to is my 40 minute power walk every M-F no matter!  Pushing the 40+ lbs of babies in the double stroller here at work!  There have been days where the devil tried to get me to skip the walk...you know what that liar says, things like: "oh well you ate like crap so you might as well skip the walk, whats the point"  No that is the point!! If I'm still struggling with healthy eating the LAST thing I need to do is skip the cardio!! You beady eyed, horned red devil you!

So today after about 3 days of cutting my a.m. caffeine in half I suffered the fall out.  Now, tomorrow I am off.  YIPPEE!  Dad is up for the reading of Aunt Isabel's will and so I'll be able to go to the house for a little while and help dad and Uncle Joey with some odds and ends to start prepping the house for sale.  Meanwhile, it means no 5a.m. wake up! I can sleep in a little which I've read helps the caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

So the point of getting off the caffeine is that my son has eloquently pointed out on many occasions that I am a caffeine addict.  He's right, and no addiction is good.  So how in the world do I propose to get over my food addiction if I blow off the caffeine addiction? 

So I decided to tackle the caffeine first.  Then ease my way into healthier eating as the weeks pass.  No stress and pressure.  My goal is to enjoy the holidays as I wish but without going off the deep end from TG week until the New Year!!! 

Then my ultimate goal is to be on a very real program for weight loss by the New Year.  Getting a real grip on my anxiety linked food dependency.  Lets face it.  This year sucked.  The move was so much more stressful and so much more work then ever imagined.  I missed the old place more than I thought I would.  Kier dropped out of college.  Kier broke up with Nick (after 5 freaking years!) which I am STILL not over!  I miss him, I miss his mother, I miss the kids, I miss the whole darn family! 

Losing half of my hours at work just a month before the move was absolutely disastrous!  Then telling those clients from hell to go scratch brought some relief but even with loving the new clients still comes the stress of adjusting to the newness of it all.

And now, its been almost 3 months since the move and I still don't have a penny to my name as I scramble to play catch up!  I should be Christmas shopping by now and I can barely get through a week of grocery shopping without being tapped!

I was hoping to be caught up by now.  I was even kinda hoping that by my b-day weekend (next weekend) I'd be able to afford a day at the spa. 

Ah well, not only am I in desperate need of a physical massage, I'm in need of a mental massage!  After many a long talks with the Lord it is clear that I need to take it one day at a time and really truly take some self preservation and self care steps.

Well let's see where the day takes me.  Gotta get these boys here at work ready for the park so I can get that power walk in.