Today wasn't a great day, yesterday wasn't too good either. This is the first time I've gotten sick since losing the weight, gaining the anxiety. I dealt with it OK... I stayed home four days and managed to not go too crazy, but small pains and lack of breath did flair up my stress. Most nights I fell asleep thanks to the pharmacist recommending Benadryl at night, but last night I decided to go to sleep clean, and that did not work. Got about four hours in total, and made my husband sit on the couch with me and the tv until I relaxed. He's a good guy like that. I was definitely a crying mess this morning. Hoping to get better sleep tonight.
Something positive from today is that I saw a psychologist for the first time. It's something that my doctor and a few others have been suggesting for a while now. It was good. Didn't know what to expect, and yoga is teaching me not to have preconceived notions. So it was interesting. Already learned a few things to think on. Dr. was positive about what we discussed. I mostly cried, and she mostly talked. It was the first time I discussed the accident with someone other than mom or husband in great detail. I'm liking forward to what she has to offer, and taking in all her advice.
On a lighter note I treated myself for dinner tonight. In the last year I e become pretty scared of food, especially heavy foods. I try to spin the fear into a positive, and think about how I haven't had fast food in 16 months now. Soda, alcohol, and caffeine too. However, I do really miss chicken wings. God, I LOVE chicken wings. All of them. We went to fresh market tonight for a few things and I realized between being nervous about seeing the psychologist and sleep deprivation I had only a Kind Bar and a bowl of soup. So I got some rotisserie chicken wings, sauceless, to accompany my salad for dinner. And oh god were they good. Not too indulgent, but this is the first time I've had wings in a long time. I'm slowly trying to not be scared of food again.
Here's to hoping the week goes well!