New post on the "other blog". Not uplifiting but something I needed to do for my own process. http://joni-ishouldwriteabook.blogspot.com/2010/10/for-infant-and-pregnancy-loss.html
Added by Joni on October 16, 2010 at 12:50pm —
I'm cheating. I'll admit it. I just don't have time for two blogs so here is my Other blog post.
That blog can be found here: http://http://joni-ishouldwriteabook.blogspot.com/2010/10/to-blog-or-not-to-blog.htmlSo recently I've contemplated the concept of restarting the blog... and I found myself asking the following… Continue
Added by Joni on October 12, 2010 at 10:30am —
Soooo this is the first week I am trying to just write down what I eat and not enter it into livestrong. Entering every bite and accounting for every calorie in helpful is the sense that I do know exactly what is going with my intake, I'm very Type A that way, as well as what energy I am expending with my daily workouts. But, that being said, I really want to get away from this sort of food/calorie/workout obsession that I have. I mean I found that if one day my calories didn't balance out at… Continue
Added by Joni on July 30, 2009 at 4:36am —
well it's a typically hot California day and I just returned from the gym session of elliptical and weight lifting. Ouch. The burritos I had planned for the rest of the fam just didn't sound appealing so I whipped up a quick little smoothie/post workout recovery drink. I tried to pack it with all the nutrients I could fit in there without making it taste like a protein shake (which I don't like). It turned out so amazing that my youngest child drank half and i had to make more! Of course a… Continue
Added by Joni on July 22, 2009 at 9:52pm —
I posted this to the maintainers group but I'm going to blog it as well because I know that many of you may have advice for me... if so THANKS :)
Hey folks!! Hoping some of you can share advice on how you are dealing with going from strict food journaling and weighing. I'm currently still weighing everyday and recording every bite in the livestrong app on my phone. I'm feeling really ruled by this constant recording but I keep doing it I think primarily because I don't trust myself.… Continue
Added by Joni on July 20, 2009 at 4:20pm —
It's been a little while. And of course I've hit a struggle spot. I've been saying to myself for some time now that I was going to try to blog the positive things in my life but alas, it seems I rarely get to it. The stark reality is that I blog as a stress response. It's how I think things out and process. That said.. feel free to quit reading now, the rest of this entry will be me talking to myself. Jabbering on and generally obsessing. A character flaw I'm keely aware that I… Continue
Added by Joni on July 13, 2009 at 5:23am —
It's my Friday and not a moment too soon! The last three days at work have been an absolute NIGHTMARE. There are babies EVERYWHERE. It's madness I tell you. Madness. My feet ache ache ache.
In other news.... I weighed in last week at 129.8 (then 128.8 the next day). My lowest weight since high school. I blog a lot to complain and vent but I've got nothing negative to say today. Not a thing. I'm really happy with myself. That's not to say I'm not fine tuning because I am, always, but… Continue
Added by Joni on July 1, 2009 at 7:00pm —
I'm at work and just have a few minutes "down" after a very busy night (where are all the babies coming from?!)... so here I am. What else would i be doing, right? :)
First off a BIG BIG thanks to Angie for recommending the fantastic book Fit From Within by Victoria Moran. WOW. What a great thought provoking book this is. I don't know how many of us struggle with the "underlying" issues of weight and poor relationships with food, but I know I do. This whole experience has been just… Continue
Added by Joni on June 24, 2009 at 8:42am —
Well well well here I am yet again. Same story, different day. I guess weight loss was the same story too. Stay OP. Work out. Lose weight. Try not to hate the scale or yourself in the process. And maintenance is just the same play with different players. Try not to eat things that aren't bad for you. Try to maintain your weight. Try not to hate yourself or the scale in the process. Etc. Etc. SO here I sit. 50 pounds lighter. I've turned al that weight into weight on my… Continue
Added by Joni on June 21, 2009 at 12:58am —
That's how I feel and it's making me crazy. This blog has always been about honesty and I'm not about to start lying now so let me just tell you. Losing 50 pounds didn't fix me. It just didn't. This post hurts. But it's true.
The Dep and I were having kind of an emotionally difficult and heated discussion the other day when he told me (wait for it), and I loosely quote, that I was essentially the same person I had always been. "Oh sure You've lost 40 or 50 pounds," he said," but… Continue
Added by Joni on June 6, 2009 at 1:33am —
OK it's not my weigh in day and really I don't actually HAVE a weigh in day anymore cause I'm supposedly not in "loss" mode (even though I wanted to lose a few) but I do WI every week and I HAVE been watching what I eat and just kind of letting things settle where they may. So I weighed in today. More on that later
Funny thing. When I got married (at age 18, 16 years ago) I think I weighed in right around 135 or close. I wore a size 5/6. I recall that, like every other women battered… Continue
Added by Joni on June 3, 2009 at 11:25pm —
I wonder how many "maintainers" feel like me...
I don't feel like I'm maintaining. This is probably because I am "bad" for a few days and then I have to be "good" to shake the weight I gain while being bad. Now... the logical, intelligent person in me knows that you can't gain 2 or 3 pounds overnight. Not the "real" kind of pounds anyway. Of course you also cannot "lose" 2 or 3 pounds overnight. But that is just what happens to me every week. Every. Week.
And I know… Continue
Added by Joni on May 28, 2009 at 8:24pm —
I'm blogging this because I don't really feel like blogging. Which is why I should. You know how when you absolutely do NOT want to go to the gym, or run, or walk, or lift weights or do anything that would require you to get up off the sofa? Yeah. Well that's probably MOST when you need to do all of those things. It's a stark reality. Which is why I'm blogging.
I recently was following Roni's posts about her frump and I commented about how I could really relate to that. Truly. And… Continue
Added by Joni on May 16, 2009 at 9:25pm —
Because frankly I have some spare time on my hands and I want to eat the bag of kettle korn in my kitchen (it's that good)... I'm not going to though. Don't worry. ;) This is a good diversion while I wait for the Dep to get off shift (it seems like every criminal in the county wants to get into trouble at 5 pm).
Anyway I watched the movie Benjamin Button today with the 13 yo. I enjoyed it. I cried which seems to be the norm for me lately but anyway he said something in that movie… Continue
Added by Joni on May 15, 2009 at 9:20pm —
It's actually an 11 letter word. Which I've found is unlike a 4 letter word in any way. You know most people are maintenance terrified. It's ok. I know I was. Truly. But I've found that it's not as bad as I once imagined.
Oh I can remember saying to myself:
"OMG(osh) Self, am I going to have to eat 20 points a day FOREVER?!? OMG REALLY?!? Am I going to have to count points FOREVER?!"
This not only intimidated me but frankly it terrified me. No offense Weight… Continue
Added by Joni on May 14, 2009 at 7:03pm —
Funny story: There once was a woman who lost 45 pounds and couldn't stop stressing about 1. the possibilty that she'd gain it all back 2. the reality that she really didn't know how to live without counting points 3. the to lose or not to lose question of the last 5 pounds that she never intended to lose but began to think she actually wanted to lose and 4. the possibility that she'd gain all those 45 pounds back (that last one was worth mentioning twice. It's big).
But one day the… Continue
Added by Joni on May 12, 2009 at 6:45am —
Well you read that right ladies and gents. Today is my 16th wedding anniversary. I mean I got married when I was 12 but whatever. No seriously. My Dep and I have been together since we were 14 and 17 respectively which now totals a smidge over 20 years, 16 of that married. And it hasn't always been a fun time. In fact, I'm just going to spell it out in plain and simple english, sometimes it sucked ass (pardon the sailor mouth). But, like all good things in life, it's been hard work and worth… Continue
Added by Joni on May 8, 2009 at 4:32pm —
Allow me to set the scene... It was a lazy Friday evening. The Dep and I were just laying around doing our usual, well, laying around. Chatting about love, life and the pursuit of health and healthy living (and fitness and a smaller waist size as it were). See, since I've re-captured some of the zest for life that I used to have, so has he and so have the kids. I just won't sugar coat it, I lived for a lot of years, a life that I honestly didn't recognize as my own. This wasn't just about… Continue
Added by Joni on May 4, 2009 at 6:55am —
Well after my downer day yesterday today is just further proof of how bi-polar I am. But I won't look a gift hourse in the mouth. After a good night at work I took a long morning nap. It was an experiment. First day off I usually push through with no sleep and then pay... for the rest of the weekend (or 3 or 4 days off as it were). So I just decided to go to bed and not worry about it. The house would still be messy. The laundry would still be in a pile. The dinner would still need cooking.… Continue
Added by Joni on April 29, 2009 at 7:10pm —
Well I had a good week last week both scale and non-scale and a great weekend so I've really not a thing to complain about but still... blech. I just feel blah today. I can't deny that it's at least partly the scales fault (and the other part exhaustion from my crappy sleep schedule). Or my fault for getting on it. Or societies fault for making me feel like I should weigh 120. Yeah I'm blaming the media, that's always fun.
I had one day last week where I weighed 134.4! WOWSERS. And… Continue
Added by Joni on April 28, 2009 at 7:24pm —