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Rachel's Blog (338)

Out of the Pit

I wanted to take a minute and post about the change that's happened in me in the last week. 

It started last Wednesday.  I don’t remember what I was doing, but I (again) had the realization that I might be struggling with some kind of depression.  What I've been going through just feels more overwhelming than general day-to-day struggling.  I took a depression quiz online that hinted strongly at seasonal affective disorder (definitely possible, I live in Michigan!) with possibilities…


Added by Rachel on March 20, 2013 at 2:20pm — 4 Comments

Not giving up just yet...

I’m having problems… major problems.  I’m starting to feel very hopeless about healthy eating, weight loss, and stopping my addictions.  I’m not enjoying the little things anymore.  And I just don’t know what to do.  Can I wake up tomorrow and get a soda and donut?  Can I have dessert at small group tomorrow?  Should I give up everything or just one thing at a time?  Also, I’m consistently only running twice a week and I am nervous I’m going to lose my progress.  I just have not been able to…


Added by Rachel on February 15, 2013 at 7:36pm — 5 Comments

Day 1 under my belt!

So I decided that Friday the 1st was going to be the day I gave everything up. When I woke up Friday, I struggled immediately. I let myself think a couple times how nice it would be to go get my soda and donut. But I couldn’t dwell on that thought for too long because I felt like if it did I would give in. So I made myself a smoothie and drank that. I felt a little hungry later so I had a piece of toast with peanut butter and sliced bananas on it. It was very good. I had to leave to go to a…


Added by Rachel on February 3, 2013 at 10:14pm — 4 Comments

Giving up my addictions

I need to write this down before I lose my nerve.  LindaB recommended the book "Made to Crave" to me.  I haven't read it all yet, but God is stirring up my heart big time already.  I really feel like God is calling me to give up all of my “gods”.  That is the last thing I want to do, and the scariest thing I have ever done.  But I feel like I have to do it if I want to gain true intimacy with Him and rely on Him for my every need.  I don’t know how to live without them.  I use them as…


Added by Rachel on January 29, 2013 at 8:41pm — 2 Comments

Honest blogging and weekly goals

I have not made this blog a priority. I feel like I'm always too busy, which I know is an excuse. Right now I'm typing this from my phone upstairs in Landon's room because his nap got cut short and that's when I was planning on blogging. I'm having a hard time getting back into it. I'm afraid of getting judged, I'm ashamed of my weight and my food addictions. And I refuse to be anything but open and honest on my blog, and so... I just end up not blogging. Which only hurts me. A lot of my…


Added by Rachel on January 27, 2013 at 7:43pm — 4 Comments

I'm Back

It's hard to know where to start when I haven't written in a over a year and a half.  I have been wanting to start blogging again for months and I just keep putting it off.  So much has changed, yet so much is still the same.  When I last wrote, Landon was 3 months old.  He is now 22 months old and I have another baby, Addison, who is 8 months old.  I stay home with the kids and I homeschool Camryn, who will be 6 this month.  So life is definitely more stressful than it was when I last…


Added by Rachel on January 4, 2013 at 9:38pm — 5 Comments

Landon is 3 months old!

Wow, it has been exactly 3 months since I've posted.  I went into labor on the night of my last post, and had Landon James at 3:43 in the morning the next day.  My labor was shockingly fast... I wasn't in any major pain until about 1 in the morning... we got to the hospital at 2, and he came out at 3:43- perfectly healthy at 7 lbs. 12 oz- 1 oz bigger than my daughter had been.


 I had originally wanted to go drug-free, but the pain was so intense I asked for an epidural- but…


Added by Rachel on May 18, 2011 at 4:11pm — 7 Comments

40 Weeks 4 Days Pregnant

I wanted to do what will hopefully be my last pregnancy update!  I just got back from my weekly appointment with the midwife... she said I am 2 cm and very soft and she would not be surprised if I went this weekend!  I am so hoping it happens.  If not, I have a non-stress test Tuesday and then they would think about inducing at the end of next week.


She guessed him to be at the upper end of 8 pounds and the ultrasound estimated him at 8 pounds 6 oz.  I am just so relieved…


Added by Rachel on February 18, 2011 at 2:54pm — 2 Comments

39 Weeks Pregnant

I am happy to say we were able to move into my parents house this weekend and I haven't had the baby yet!  I was so worried he would come before we could get settled.  So I was able to get everything all set up and I am almost 100% ready.  I am sooo in nesting mode!  The only things I have left to do are pack the hospital bag, vacuum out my car, and put the car seat in.  Yay! 


At my appointment Friday the midwife said I was dilated to 1 and his head was all the way down.  I…


Added by Rachel on February 7, 2011 at 2:11pm — 5 Comments

37 Weeks Pregnant

Yes I'm still here and still pregnant!  Sorry I missed last week's update- I do have huge news this week- we got the house!  Ironically, our closing day is February 15, and I'm due the 14th. 


We are planning on staying with my parents starting February 5th, so we basically just need to move all the baby stuff there as well as our clothes and the things we'll need for a few weeks.  While we are there, my husband will do the moving out of our apartment into our new house and…


Added by Rachel on January 24, 2011 at 1:24pm — 3 Comments

35 Weeks Pregnant

Well, 5 more weeks to go!  Until my due date that is... I try not to focus too much on that actual day as it's unlikely to happen on that actual day, but it seems impossible!  I wish they would just give you a due date range instead of an actual date... as in I will probably have the baby sometime between February 1 and February 28... that seems more realistic!  That's what I tell myself anyways. 


I did some MAJOR nesting this weekend.  I got out all the baby clothes I have…


Added by Rachel on January 10, 2011 at 11:47am — 4 Comments

34 Weeks Pregnant

I NEED TO NEST.  That has been the theme this last week... and I can't!  We still don't even know where we're going to be living when the little one arrives! 


Here's the house situation- we never heard back on our offer on the last house, and yesterday was their last day to respond.  So today we put an offer in on the first house we had put an offer on, which is the one that's a few houses away from my husband's parent's house.  It's a short sale, so we are giving the bank 2…


Added by Rachel on January 5, 2011 at 12:18pm — 4 Comments

33 Weeks Pregnant

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant.  No news to report for the pregnany, everything is still going fine.  I haven't weighed myself in a while, I kind of gave up caring.  I think last time I weighed myself I was 186.  I have been eating so unhealthy the past few weeks... there has been a multitude of sweets around the office leading up to Christmas and I am SO happy that will be done with.  The part I hate worst about eating unhealthy, other than feeling like crap, is how healthy food becomes…


Added by Rachel on December 27, 2010 at 12:50pm — 1 Comment

31 Weeks Pregnant

Well I missed my 30 week update... whoops! Today I'm 31 weeks. And as of tomorrow I have 2 months to go until my due date. I am finally starting to feel like it's getting somewhat close. I knew I wouldn't feel that way until I was 2 months away or less.

I definitely am feeling more pregnant... I get tired out more easily and am really feeling the extra weight. I had some painful contractions on Saturday night, but they went away and haven't come back. I think I had about 4 or…


Added by Rachel on December 13, 2010 at 12:47pm — 2 Comments

29 Weeks Pregnant

A little late on this update, by now I'm 29.5 weeks pregnant... oh well!

I found Roni's post today SUPER motivational for me. I stopped running around 20 weeks and haven't really exercised since. I get very down on myself about that. I thought I would never be the kind of person that just "didn't exercise" anymore. But I'm trying to just think of it as I took a 2 month break…


Added by Rachel on December 2, 2010 at 1:08pm — 1 Comment

28 Weeks Pregnant

Yay, I made it to the third trimester! I still think at least once a day "I can't believe there are ___ months/weeks/days left until he comes!" For some reason this pregnancy seems like it is lasting forever. I need to try a lot harder to enjoy the last few months we have as a family of three. I already know it will be so emotional for me to see my daughter for the last time before my son is born and to know it's the last time she'll be our only child. I know I'll also probably get super…


Added by Rachel on November 23, 2010 at 12:19pm — 3 Comments

27 Weeks Pregnant

Exciting news! We are going to put an offer on a house tonight. I'm excited, but nervous and scared too. I've been worried about finances (as usual) lately but I feel like God is watching over us and taking care of us. We gave all our credit cards to my parents to hold on to for us several months ago and haven't had to ask for them back... what a blessing and one of the best things we've ever done financially! It appears that with this house, the mortage payment would be almost exactly the…


Added by Rachel on November 17, 2010 at 12:17pm — 1 Comment

26 Weeks Pregnant

Looking at my profile picture I see I definitely need to take a new pregnancy picture! Unfortunately my husband lost our camera, so we need a new one asap!

I was just reading through my 26 week e-mails I get from babyfit and babycenter and I kinda freaked out for a second. One of them talked all about getting ready for the baby and my mind just went blank because we have done NOTHING to get ready for the baby. Thankfully we have some newborn clothes someone gave us, and my mom…


Added by Rachel on November 8, 2010 at 12:02pm — 2 Comments

25 Weeks Pregnant

My most recent symptom has been HEARTBURN! It started the day I turned 25 weeks (Monday) and I've had it every day since then. It's so hard for me not to complain about it, because it somehow makes me feel better to comlpain. But it has been pretty rough!

Over the past few days I've been re-inspired to eat healthy and watch my calories. My work is doing a Biggest Loser contest and I'm so bummed I can't participate. But it's still motivating me to watch my weight. I had a…


Added by Rachel on November 3, 2010 at 12:46pm — 1 Comment

24 Weeks Pregnant

I feel kinda guilty watching Roni's pregnancy updates and then looking back on my pregnancy posts. I feel like she's so much more upbeat and positive, and I just complain about my weight and don't seem like I enjoy being pregnant. So from here on out, I'm going to try and complain less and enjoy it more. :) I'm so fortunate to be pregnant again and to have made it this far without any complications!

I've been proud of myself with a lot of the choices I've made with eating,…


Added by Rachel on October 27, 2010 at 12:26pm — 4 Comments




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