Blog to Lose

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Mary is No Longer a Victim

I find Mary's story TOTALLY inspiring not because of her weight loss (which is AWESOME) but because of her change in attitude!

How are you defining your success?

My success is a matter of overcoming one single thing... It was a badge I had been wearing for years and on that badge was the word "VICTIM" Letting go of that badge unlocked the freedom to accept myself and love myself.

Which of your personal goals have you achieved?

The goals that I have achieved have been to divorce the cheating husband of 20 years whom i blamed for all my problems. I have lost 70 lbs. with the help of the weight watchers program. I have gained a love for exercise..(never saw that one coming.) I let go of my need to consume large amounts of alcohol almost daily because of course "poor poor me"

How long did it take you?

It took 20+ years to leave my husband (staying for the kids don't ya know) It took right at a year to lose the weight. It took one day to stop the drinking and that was the day I left him and the badge behind.

What new goals have you set for yourself?

The new goals I have set for myself is to hopefully inspire others who may be possible hiding behind that same badge or just by being willing to give a very personal part of myself. I want to continue to exercise even though injury (knee during jazzersize) and surgery(degenerative disk in the neck, two level fusion) seems to have put it to a halt as of late however i refuse to put that badge back on. I am developing a love for yoga which the Dr's give me the ok on. I bought a Wii Fitt and am slowly building back my stamina. Be the healthiest and happiest me that could be!

What has changed the most about you?

What has changed the most about me I would have to say is the inner peace i feel now from letting go. Of course my body has changed i went from a size 16 to a size 8. Highest weight 214 and lowest 142. Now I am at 162 I am 5'8" and 48 years of age. I have found my soul mate whom had been right in front of my eyes for 30 or more years and he treats me with the respect that i now demand and deserve, and accepts me for who i have been, who i am, and who i am becoming.

What did you find hardest about reaching your goal? How did you overcome it?

The hardest thing i have ever done in my life was to admit that I played the victim. Once I was able to accept that fact the rest sort of just began to fall into place. How I overcame being the victim was from attending a "weekend lock down" with a group of about 80 or so other people for some serious soul searching and letting go of the past sort of Dr. Phil thing. Mind you it did not happen overnight and as a matter of fact I left there that weekend pissed off and thinking it was a big crock of poo. As time past i began to see how i did indeed allow myself to be a victim and over a period of time i began to see it clearer and clearer until i said to myself, "Self, you are a victim!" I allowed my husband to cheat on me by staying in the marriage, i allowed myself to blame my weight problems on him as well and also the drinking. I found comfort in a bottle and a "super size me meal" instead of standing up for myself and loving myself enough to be strong and let go of the chains and free myself from all that I blamed.

How has blogging helped you reach your goals?

I had never joined a blog until today. I had found Roni's site at the beginning of my WW journey by just pure luck of surfing. I guess I have been what you call it? a lurker? by the way "way to go Roni on your success" I think I found you right after your surgery. But I can tell you that I see it helping me on my journey of this thing we call "Life" I refuse to be anything other than a success even though i have gained 20 pounds over the past six months due to injury and health issues. The new me knows that I will find a way to exercise and I will lose the extra weight again. I too have to immerse myself with it.. eat, sleep and drink it. syphon what I can from others stories of their accomplishments and their defeats. They are all lessons, and now I hope that i can contribute something myself, give back to all those of you that were so unaware that your words and your thoughts and feelings cheered me and and continue to do so every day, and I would like to finally say to you THANK YOU!!! every one of you that contribute in my eyes are extraordinary beautiful successes.

Any tips for those that share you goal?

Never say never and never say die... you got to acknowledge and accept if you are indeed in the company of me... the one wearing that badge so that you can begin to let it go. Of course I am not saying you need to go on some weekend soul searching lock down either. Not everyone shares my same story but maybe just maybe there may be a few out there and you don't even know it yet... If anything I have said at all rings a bell..Know that you CAN do it too...I did.

Mary - you ARE an inspiration and may I say... you look darn good in leather! lol :)

Comment by Bonnie on March 12, 2009 at 4:56pm
Good for you, Mary......and.....you do NOT look 48!! Congratulations! And with your attitude, you'll get that 20 off in no time!
Comment by Elaine on March 12, 2009 at 5:15pm
Wow. Yes, you do not look 48! Try 28! This story is so moving....it really showcases how weight is MORE than just diet/exercise like everyone tells. It's emotion. I am so happy to see that your story ended up a success - pass it on and help other women who are in your former situation! I hope you'll become a really active part of BTL!
Comment by Arlene on March 12, 2009 at 8:30pm
What a fantastic success story! Congrats on the achievement ... I hope to join you in the success stories soon!
Comment by Michele Dochat on March 12, 2009 at 9:11pm
Wow, if you are what 48 looks like, I can't wait! I'll be 43 in two weeks, and sometimes worry about whether I'll look older than my age when I finally reach goal...but I JUST DECIDED NOT TO SWEAT IT!
Comment by EmilyRose on March 13, 2009 at 9:05am
Mary, you look FANTASTIC! I'm so happy that you've found yourself through letting go of those chains. Keep it up - you're an inspiration! =)
Comment by Ali on March 13, 2009 at 10:21am
You are an amazing woman. So strong! And you look awesome in leather ;-)
Comment by Amanda on March 13, 2009 at 12:20pm
You look awesome! Way to go on your success. Thanks for sharing your story.
Comment by Jessica on March 13, 2009 at 5:50pm
WOW! I, just, WOW! You are truly amazing!
Comment by Mary on March 14, 2009 at 8:58am
What a story, life, what determination, what a way to go! To go from once believing that you weren't worth anything more than a drink and a meal, to realizing that you are not only worth more, but that you deserve it as well. If only those that felt as you did could tap into your mind, to see that change is possible, self love can be learned, and that change does not need to be encompassed by fear....you are an amazing story, Mary. Thank you for sharing.
Comment by Erica on March 19, 2009 at 7:28pm
Mary, Thank you for sharing your story! You have really changed your life, what an inspiration you are!!!
Comment by Gt2Blev on April 18, 2009 at 1:15pm
Thank you Mary, you truly are an inspiration!
Comment by Janet W on September 28, 2011 at 6:05pm

What an inspiration Mary!  Thanks for sharing some true pearls of wisdom.

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