Blog to Lose

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Hello, my name is Toni and I am 43 years old. I am approximately 100 pounds over weight. I've tried many many diets over the years I actually feel like I've spent my teenage years until now starting a new diet every Monday. However back in 2008 I was successful in going from 175 to 140 pounds with the help of diet pills. That was the first time I ever felt good about myself. I loved the way I looked, the way my clothes fit and the compliments that I received. I grew up as an over weight child and teased all the time so it mad be feel good for my former classmates who once teased me to now be paying me compliments. While I was happy with myself the people who I love and look to for support we not happy for me. I am married to a very controlling, jealous and mulipitive man. He has very low self esteem and projects it onto me. Case and point....I work at a job that I have quit a bit of flexibility. I am free to come and go. His job does not allow him that same flexibility. For breakfast I usually drink a medium cup of coffee and at my lunch around noon I would go and grab me and the girls lunch and when I got home would either pick something up for the family or cook. I would usually not be hungry because of my rather large lunch so I would either skip dinner or pick over it. This caused major arguments between my husband and I because he would always say that I am choosing to eat with my friends and I don't want to eat with him. It became easier just to eat with him regardless if I was hungry or not. He was a large man and I felt that it made him more secure in our marriage if I ate and ate and ate and put more and more weight on. I hate myself, I hate how I look, how I feel everything about me I am unhappy with. It's so bad that I hate to be romantic with him. Nothing about me feels sexy and that reflexes in the bedroom and it has been a major source of tension between us. My husband assumes I am cheating but he just doesn't get it!!!! I've tried explaining my feelings about my weight to him but he always seems to make it a sob story about him! The thing I am dealing with now is his "bragging". About 2 weeks ago he was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. He was given medication and dropped 15 pounds quickly. The doctor told him he would continue to loose weight at a fast pace if he kept taking the medicine. He walks around the house and he ask me, "Do you ever just loose weight" and laughs. He will put on his shirts and makes it a point to over and over point out how big the shirt is now. He picked up a belt and said you can give that away because I'm getting so skinny I can't wear it. Everyday I tell him that I am going to eat a light breakfast, light lunch and healthy dinner. He's been off since his sickness and the first thing at 6:00 am his question is what are you going to eat...you need to eat......what are you waiting on to eat to the point he gets mad and storms through the house or sits around mad. Today I decided that he will just have to be mad. I purchased me a bottle of Mega Women Energy and Metablism pills and also some ACV. I can tell the difference I have more energy today and my appetite has been cut in half. I purchased a treadmill and I am going to set it up in my living room tonight and despite his anger I am going to do this!

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ooh this would be very hard and drive me to eat more so I feel for ya. Stay strong and keep your positive attitude!!!
You can do this and show him you can.

I would get marriage counseling stat. He is doing more than just being controlling and you do NOT deserve it.

You're relationship with your husband is negatively affecting your health. He sounds like a manipulative jerk who stokes your feelings of insecurity about your body in order to keep you with him. I was once in a similar relationship. It took me gaining more confidence in myself to see that I deserved better. I hope he either changes his tune or that you get out of what amounts to an emotionally abusive relationship. Good luck

I think exercise is always the best way to keep the body weight and fats under control. I can understand your situation as my best friend also faced the problem of over weight. She then used a masseur cellulite to remove the fats from the body. The masseur cellulite is a cost effective way for fat reduction. You can also try using it for getting positive results.

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